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When You Know You Are Self-Sabotaging

Having an incredibly strong mindset is most probably the biggest skill I’ve ever gained for myself. Like many people out there, I stumbled through my 20’s and 30’s not really believing in myself. I was right into self-development, but let’s be honest, it often ends up as shelf development, doesn’t it?

The beauty of knowing your mind and knowing what goes on in there is, that when you are doing something weird, you have the skills and abilities to stop yourself. Not just from doing the weird thing, but to also ask yourself why?

Like an issue I had just the other day.

Late last year, I created a great little marketing strategy for LinkedIn that instantly brought in some new clients. I hired a freelancer to do the “donkey work” and with just one new client, it was paying for itself.

After the Christmas break, I asked my freelancer to continue, and low and behold, instantly a new customer appeared. Very cool I thought!

It was around the same time, that I casually mentioned my success to another client of mine. They pricked their ears up.

“Could you do this for us as well?” they asked.

“Sure!” I said.

After all, I couldn’t see any reason why not, right? It worked a treat for me. So all I had to do is duplicate that, tweak it a little for their market and go for it right?

So, I worked out a price for them that would also cover my expense as well, and they ran with it. To say I was very happy is an understatement.

The next day, this client reached out to me again.

“Hey Maini? Could you do this for two of our clients as well?” They asked.

“Ummm, sure!” I replied, but I have to admit, I was starting to sweat just a little.

I mean, it worked for me, and I was pretty confident I could make it work for my client, but their clients as well?

Suddenly, my little marketing plan went from paying for itself to actually bringing me in a few hundred dollars income a week. All without having to do very much at all. Way cool, right?

So, why was I sweating so much? Was it because I didn’t believe I could do it? No, because I knew I could. Was it because I didn’t think it would work? No, because I had evidence it did.

So, why was I so nervous?

I kept pushing myself forward, but each time I received an email from my client, I stalled. I instantly recognized this as a bit of self – sabotage coming on. Luckily for me, I was able to ask the question why? But the answer didn’t come right away.

By this time, I was really panicking. I didn’t want to let my client down, as we had a great relationship, and I didn’t want that damaged. But, every step I took felt like I was dragging myself through quicksand. I really felt like I was sinking and sinking fast!

The fact was, I was fine. My client was one to give very clear instructions, and all I really had to do was pass that onto my LinkedIn guy. But do you know, I even struggled to do that.

I am very blessed to have beautiful friends. Many of my friends are highly trained NLP Practitioners and trainers. I was having lunch with my friend Maria who is a phenomenal NLP trainer and I told her what was going on.

She knew exactly what the problem was. She saw it all the time with business clients of her own. It was a lack of understanding and being terrified you’d get it wrong. Maria said that there were pieces of the puzzle missing for me, and until I found those pieces, I wouldn’t have a complete picture.

Being the big picture person I am, I needed to feel confident enough to proceed. Her advice to me was to go back over everything I had been given so far and be prepared to ask questions.

So I did exactly that and it all became crystal clear. The truth was, all the information I needed was there, I just had to step out of my own way, take the action and see it.

The campaigns have been launched for all four businesses. We are in the first week of it and it’s all going well. We are meeting the expectations of all the clients and know with open communication, that will continue to happen.

I can now do the “Holy Grail” of LinkedIn marketing for my own business and still make a tidy sum each week from the other clients. Feels like I have a complete winner.

How different it could have been though if I hadn’t recognized the self-sabotage creeping in and reached out for help? I could have lost it all and an exceptionally good client as well, all because of the fear of not understanding.

So, the next time you find yourself stalling on something, ask the question why. If you can’t find the answer yourself, reach out to a professional for help. There’s no shame in asking for help, however, losing something because you didn’t reach out, is really full of shame, isn’t it?

About Maini

Founder and CEO of Copywriters International

Maini Homer is an entrepreneur and mastermind businesswoman living on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia. Maini has been in business for herself for over 23 years and has created 13 successful businesses from scratch. Recently, she also became a #1 international bestselling author in three categories and countries as well. Visit Maini at

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